Looking at this picture makes me feel grateful for Krystal. She has been here cleaning my house, trying to take care of her own three children, and even do some cooking for me. She pulled her hair back at the end of the day, and we both commented that we didn't look too pretty.
I thought that having this week off I was going to totally recover and feel like my old self again. But , tell me, do I look like my old self? If you look closely, you will see some blessings. I still have most of my eyebrows, and my eyelashes, and even a little bit of hair up on top. I am not sure why that there is any hair left at all, but I am grateful. One day while I was walking around without anything on my head, my 3 yr old Allie said, "Grandma , you could put your wig on now". I took the hint, and most of the time have some covering on my head.
I need you all to remind me of all the positive things I said over the last 12 weeks, because this week has been an emotionally down one for me. For no good reason, just because. I feel like I will NEVER be the Karen I was, happy, bubbly, ready to help anyone. I don't know why I can't see things as they really are. Everything is going well. Kancer cells are being Killed, never to return, I am half way through the treatments and have been extra blessed with mild side effects
I have even lost 8 lbs. The doctors and nurses say I am doing great, but I don't feel great. I have had a lot of fear about everything from bad news on the tv, to the price of gasoline. It doesn't take much to upset me these days.
I have even lost 8 lbs. The doctors and nurses say I am doing great, but I don't feel great. I have had a lot of fear about everything from bad news on the tv, to the price of gasoline. It doesn't take much to upset me these days.
I have been given a few suggestions about meditating, etc. and I will tell you I did find a couple of things that were comforting. Jeffrey Holland's book, Trusting Jesus has brought me some peace, but the best thing I did was make it to the temple. I went in and did initiatory work for 5 sisters, and the blessings there were just what I needed, and then I went and sat in the celestial room, and had a good talk with my Heavenly Father. Then I opened the scriptures, and found a good one just for me Isaiah 54-last verse- I felt peace the whole rest of the evening. I am so grateful that I felt good enough to go.
Well, Friday the 13th is an unlucky day for any cancer cells that are left laying around, because it is their doom day. Taxotere is going to mop things up. Pray for me that I can handle the side effects. Thank you for your love and your prayers, I wouldn't want to go through this experience without them ...LOVE YOU ALL, Love, Karen
13 comments:
You can do this....Friday the 13th is going to KICK THOSE LITTLE CANCER BUTTS!!!! Ill be praying for you. Also, I want to bring the baby by and will do so soon! love you!!!!!
you are beautiful.
Karen, the price of gasoline and the state of the world, upcoming presidential election is depressing most of us who aren't even sick! Turn off the news! I even have to do this and I'm a news JUNKIE! I even have to turn off my beloved Glenn Beck! I believe your depression is totally normal right now. Keep hanging in there. We are all praying for you. I think both you and Krystal look beautiful. Beauty is a lot more than pretty hair.
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I truly remember like it was yesterday the emotional toll that nasty cancer brought to my sweet husband. there are no words...just love brought from our Heavenly Father. Jason has said on more than one occasion what a TRUE blessing cancer was. I say "ditto"! It's a refining fire if you let it, which you are....you are doing GREAT!!!
I am so sorry I won't be there this friday. I really wish I could be. I know you are going through a difficult time but hang in there. You keep me going and inspired. My 5 year old daughter always asks me to wear my wig too. I guess it is just hard for them to understand. I will try to make it in this Friday at least for a visit. You are loved.
Karen,
You have angels by your side. You can do this, and don't ever forget that you will be the "old Karen" again when this is all over. I have NO doubt. I love you.
Monique
Karen- Your beauty shines through in your spirit. You are winning this battle- no matter what!
It was so good to see you at the temple on Saturday. I have missed talking to you, and seeing in my mind your smiling face. You are such a beautiful person. Like Shannon said....Beauty is a lot more than pretty hair. You'll have your own pretty hair again soon. You have always encouraged me to be better. Thanks for being you!!!! My prayers are with you!
Hi Karen, I came back from the reunion with Pink eye and a cold and a cold sore. Who gets all that? I have been thinking about you and wanting to see you but I need to get better first. I KNOW you will be the same Karen when this is all over. Tracey is proof. She is as active and herself as ever. This whole thing will be a time in your past. We will be able to "remember when" when I come Visiting Teaching. You are truely a strength to MANY through your words, spiritualness, courage, happiness and I could go on and on. Just go back to your blog and look at those cute little miss matched shoes. I get a kick out of those. And look at your beautiful family. Your doing great!!!! You amaze me! LOVE YA
Karen, I have learned many times over that is often takes us feeling low and having hard days to appreciate the good ones. I recently learned this all to well. You are one of the strongest women I know. I am so lucky to have you as part of my life. There is not a time that I open my scriptures that something you have taught me doesn't come to mind. You are an amazing, strong, courageous, beautiful, woman. I have been told many times, it's okay to have bad days. I didn't know it was. I thought it was important to be happy all the time... but really - it is okay to have bad days. I think you are more beautiful now than you have ever been. Your strength shines through in every picture. Thank you for all you are. Love you!
You are beautiful, I don't care what you think right now, and before you know it, you will look back on this whole experience, a better person (if that's even possible) We love you!
Hey Karen, It is Janae(Haynie)! I haven't read your blog for a few days so I did not know you were having a treatment on Friday. But you were in my thoughts and prayers all weekend. I participated in a community walk for hope. I was surprised that it was such an emotional experience for me as I have participated in these before. Anyway, it was a very touching weekend and I walked for you. I love you and know that you can do this.
Love Janae
Karen,
I have been thinking about you and hope that you are feeling better. I hope the last treatment was good for you. You are such a strong person, physically and spiritually! You CAN DO THIS. You have so many people in your corner, cheering, and praying for you, WE ALL LOVE YOU ! KEEP THE FAITH!
Love you, Lisa
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