Thursday, June 19, 2008

Positive Reinforcement

This is my (Krystal's) first time posting on this blog. My mom has done such a phenomonal job of writing her own story, she hasn't needed any help from the rest of us. But last night as I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, this is what I was thinking about.

Cancer sucks. Chemo sucks. That's not to say that there aren't positive things that are coming out of them (because there are), but there's no escaping the hard, negative things that come along with cancer and its remedy.

But last night, I was trying to find the silver lining, the positive things that have come out of the past two months. And I managed to come up with a few. Here are some things we have learned through my mom's battle with cancer:

1. My mom has got more energy than any one person needs. Whatever you can say about how the chemo has affected her, it hasn't slowed her down much, if at all. Although she probably sees this as something of a curse (she has taken 5 naps or less since the beginning of chemo, and doesn't sleep well at night), I think it speaks volumes for who she is.

2. She has a well-shaped head and looks good bald. I'm sure all of us ladies wonder what we would look like if we shaved our heads, and fear that our heads would make us look alien-like. But she pulls it off. And she saves a lot of money on shampoo and conditioner.

3. She is fitting into clothes that she hasn't been able to wear in quite some time. Again, another mixed blessing. She is happy to be losing weight, but disappointed that she doesn't feel like eating more. Perhaps a new wardrobe would help?

4. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, claiming she can't have bad feelings for anyone again. When a guy from Direct TV came to install the satellite, he was neither helpful nor polite. Instead, he left in a bit of a huff. My mom's reaction? "I just assumed he must have had a bad case of diarrhea and left out of embarrassment." Yes, he couldn't possibly just be unhelpful and impolite.

5. She has never felt so loved. Personally, I have been amazed at the outpouring of love she has received. I knew she was loved (that much is obvious), but the number of lives she has touched far surpasses any number I could have guessed. I know your love and concern sustains her during the hard times, and I want you all to know how thankful we (the whole fam-damily) are to you. Thank you for all the letters and cards, the visits, the prayers, the temple work in her behalf, and mostly for all the love.

Cancer sucks. Chemo sucks. But we're looking at the bright side.

13 comments:

Laurie said...

How lucky you are Karen to have such a wonderful and loving family. Great post Crystal!!
Jeff said that you looked GREAT the other night when he came to get Dale. You are lucky, that you are beautiful even bald!!! I can only imagine how your mind can get away from you and cause some anxiety....but you are so strong and you WILL and ARE fighting this with such grace, dignity and a beautiful spitit. Hang in there....I will come and visit soon :)....love you...Laurie

Heather B said...

Amen Sistah!

Jill Emett said...

Those are some very insightful thoughts. I agree with all of them. Especially about your moms excess of energy!!! Maybe now the rest of us will have a chance of keeping up with her. Who am I kidding? She can still run circles around me!

Amelia said...

No doubt it all sucks- however the Esplin clan is a silver lining kind of family- keep it up and tell her to take a nap- she deserves it!!!

Anonymous said...

Your right...cancer and chemo TOTALLY suck! You guys are doing a great job!!! You might think your just "enjoying" the ride...but you are really doing great!!!! Love youguys!

The Leggs said...

Krystal, this is why i have always admired you. You have always been one to see the good in anything. Thanks for helping me realize that even in the toughest of situations, there is some sort of blessing from God.

Rachel said...

The silver linings are always important to look for when life becomes challenging. They're what you could call the tender mercies of the Lord, and they are every where!

Harold and Sheri Fam said...

Hey, how amazing you all are. I have enjoyed reading and getting caught up and watching the progress and feeling of your strenghth and committment. I love you. You always have had enough enthusiasm and energy for all of us. I hope to get down there to visit soon...hang in there...love you...Sheri

Jamie W said...

Hi Krystal! Hi Karen! I just wanted to say I check your blog frequently and am so impressed with how upbeat and positive you always sound. Our thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jamie Stevenson Wakefield

Anonymous said...

You're right Cancer sucks! But if anyone can be upbeat and positive through it all, it's Karen. Karen you look great in all the pictures, if it weren't for the "hair" no one would know the difference. You are going to beat this thing if only through your positive mental attitude. We could all learn something from you. We love you.

Lisa said...

I have to say that I agree with everything Crystal said. You are a wonderful family, and I enjoy keeping in touch through this blog. You have taught you children well Karen and Dale, you have a beautiful family with the strenghth and spiritual insight that their parent have... Keep on doing what your doing and this will all be behind you soon. We love you and pray for you always,
Love, Lisa

Anonymous said...

Hi Karen, Just wanted you to know again that I'm thinking about you. How many more treatments do you have left? About 3? I'm sure you are soooo tired of them by now. You mentioned you like to have visitors and then I hear you don't want them so I haven't dropped by. It sounds like you have a lot of help from family and friends. I keep up with your progress through Carole and Don Boshard. Because summer is here I've been gone a lot tending grandkids and family funerals. I'm off again this week to a grandchild's baptism. Know that I think about you a lot and want to hurry time up so you are through with all this. I'll check in with you when I get back. Julie Gardner

Abby said...

you definatley are one of the prettiest people I've ever seen. I dont think anyone could look better bald than you. We love you and your family!!!