Still trying to figure out LIFE

I am on some heavy drugs here, I had just barely woken up from the anesthesia, and I'll tell you, the first thing I thought of when I saw this picture was, "Oh my gosh, I look HORRIBLE" My next thought was, "I am SO VAIN", and of course that led to ," I am so not humble after all". Why do I lead my thoughts right down the path of despair?Thank you for your thoughts about humility, I am still looking for more advice, so please comment on the humility one, or here, it's making for a very good Sunday School lesson for me!!

This sign is made the old fashioned way of wood burning, anybody remember those days? A couple of years ago, I was with a friend at a gift shop, and we laughed so hard when we read this, and I said "I have to have that, that is so me!!!" I want the Lord to lead my pathways , but I talk ENTIRELY too much, and say things that I should not say. Now that I have had this shoulder surgery, I had to let you see a picture of it because it applies more than ever now.

For instance, just Friday I went to see the cancer Dr. to check on my lab work, etc. and after I asked how I was doing,(referring to the blood work results), he said , "You're like Mary Poppins",and my mouth said, "why, do you think I am a phony?", he laughed and said, 'NO, remember when she measures the kids and herself, and she is "practically perfect in every way"...............oh my heck, I am such a ding dong, why did I call Mary Poppins a phony? What's up with that?" He is trying to say something positive and nice, and I say a stupid thing like that. A few years ago, my mouth was getting out of control, and I started praying at the beginning of each day that the Holy Ghost would warn me when I was about to say something stupid, and help me not to say it, and it worked. Obviously I need to start praying for that again.

This is after I woke up and got dressed one day, which WAS NOT easy, but you can see my hair is starting to grow even thicker and curlier now, but my VAIN side cannot stand it, the little Jay Leno gray thing in the middle, and the DARK salt and PEPPER haircolor. I am disappointed in myself that I even care, I am so thankful to have no cancer, and any hair at all, I need to be more grateful. That was one of my bits of advice last post, and I love it. Focus on what you DO have, instead of what you DON"T.

We have to have a quick peek at Kenya, now 6 1/2 months old. We found this darling dress at the Dickens Festival and gave it to her for Christmas, but this is the first day she wore it.....she is a dream baby, another "Mary Poppins" if I do say so myself.

I have been called to teach Primary and I had to show you some fun things (so I could cheer myself up). The kids are 6 turning 7, and just darling, I already love them so much. I have had to have Dale and Heather help me since the surgery, but today I did it all by myself. Heather gave me some good ideas on getting their attention, and they turned out so cute, you have to see them. One funny story I have to tell you first is the first week the lesson was on the war in heaven and how we all fit into this plan, I was explaining to the kids about voting for Jesus, and how we know that because we have a body, and the ones that voted for Lucifer didn't get a body. One of the children (who will remain anonymous) insisted that one of their parents had voted for Lucifer. I tried my hardest to convince them that wasn't possible because they were here on the earth. The child continued to tell everyone in the class that their parent HAD to have voted for Lucifer because that parent drinks alcohol, takes drugs, and smokes "smoke sticks". I could just see this child going home telling this parent that they learned in Primary about the vote in heaven and who voted for Satan. aaaahhhh! I did my best to convince the child that their parent indeed to vote to follow Jesus, but they forgot, and maybe that child could pray for that parent. "WHEW" This could be a tough class.

One of the next lessons was on the boyhood of Joseph Smith, and Heather suggested that I show them how his family had to clear the land, and then built a log cabin when he was a boy, so she and I made little trees out of large pretzels and broccoli, and we let the kids stick them in green styrofoam, and then we let them knock them over and pull them out to 'Clear the Land". Then we built a log cabin with precut pretzels, supposedly from the trees they knocked down, and then I gave them some farm items (from the grandkids toybox) and they turned that place into a "FARM" They loved it. If there was enough time, I was supposed to tell the story of how Joseph almost lost his leg at age 7, but I didn't want to scare them, so Heather suggested we play "Pin the leg on Joseph Smith", emphasizing that he DID NOT LOSE his leg, it just was a little handicapped. Dale could NOT BELIEVE we would think of such a thing and practically forbid me to do that. Oh well, we were just joking. But it would have kept their attention, don't you think?

OK, now on a more serious note, I wanted to show you something and tell you another neat story. The whole last year, (I found the lump in Feb of last year....wow) I have been wearing a necklace with the word, "Trust" printed on it 3 times. We had purchased them for Young Women birthday gifts the year before. We told them that they could remember the 3 times meant, "Trust the Father, Trust His Son, and Trust the Holy Ghost" Well, once I started my journey of trials, it was a perfect reminder to me, so I wore it pretty faithfully. Recently, I went to my jewelery box and went to get it out and put it on. I saw the silver circle and grabbed it, but much to my surprise it didn't say "trust", it said "Remember". I felt chills down my spine, Nothing could have been more appropriate. I have gone through so much, yes, but I have learned so much more, and the ONLY way that this experience will benefit ANY of us, is if we "REMEMBER"..................remember what we've learned, I especially need to remember all of the feelings I have had, and the awesome spiritual experiences, and the love I have been shown. I knew this is what I am supposed to wear around my neck now, when I go to put on any jewelery.

I believe it was a message from Heaven. I "remember" now where that circle came from; a YW activity with the stake, but I had put in in my jewelery box and hadn't noticed it for over a year.

Now , the last item of business for today. I want to go to lunch and celebrate my "Mary Poppins" lab report. I will have a PET scan (an 11,000 dollar test) to look for any cancerous tumors in the body, but that is not until April 15th, and I feel that it will show that I am clear for this year, so................where do you want to go? I love the Fairway Grille because it's a slower pace restaurant, and we can go in the back of it, and I feel relaxed enough to be able to sit a while and talk. If there are no objections to that, then we need to pick a day. Heather will be here next Tuesday to help pay tribute to her basketball coach from High School, we're hoping to get Krystal here too. That would be Feb 10th, if not then, possibly the end of the month when I could get K & H here together. Tell me what you think. LOVE YOU ALL, Karen