Radiation Begins

I don't know if this blows anyone else away, but it does me. I AM FINISHED WITH 8 CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENTS!!. I can hardly believe it. I am starting radiation treatments tomorrow. I will have 30 of them. Yesterday I went to get tatoos (VERY Small ones), so they will know where to put the radiation everytime. They say it is just like getting an x-ray, and it only takes about 5 minutes EVERY WEEK DAY. They told me that it will kill any cancer cells that could be possibly still hanging around where the tumor originated, and even though some normal tissue will get zapped too, it will regenerate and recover, where the cancer cells will not. Studies have shown that women who do not have radiation often have reccurrence of cancer near where the first tumor was, so they all believe this is the answer, chemo first, then radiation. I am ready. I don't feel nauseated anymore, I have gained back almost 10 pounds and my anxiety is 90% gone. I am a little bit tired, my energy level is not what it was, but I feel sure it will be sometime in the future. The radiation oncologist said this will probably make me more fatigued. I said well, we'll see, the only thing that has made me tired for the last 4 months is Benadryl. (that's what Dr. Lemon gave me to calm me down) I had several of the staff try to convince me NOT to compare myself with other patients, that everyone writes their own story, and there are so many variables, the every reaction is going to be a little bit different. I'll give it a week or two and then let you know how I am reacting. If I continue to have the positive input from all of you,, this is not going to cause me any trouble, and maybe I can get back to doing a few more normal things.
If only I could pay you back somehow for what you have all done for me. It's been incomprehensible that SO many of you have poured out your hearts with love and concern and prayers for me. I think I have already told you that I don't deserve it, but through the Mercy that Jesus Christ wants to show his people, He has allowed me to see and feel firsthand what Mercy feels like. I have learned so much through this experience. I am keeping a list, and at the end of the radiation, I am going to give you all the list, but I figure it's not completed yet, and I still have a few things to learn, but I will say this. I have learned that EVERYONE has good in them, and if they seem unkind or unfriendly, I can almost BE SURE that they are hurting somewhere in their personal lives, and they need kindness, not because they deserve it, but because we should show mercy like the Savior shows us.
Love, Kindness, Concern, Prayers, Fasting, and MERCY is what has gotten me through this, and as I look back on it, I think, "You know , that really wasn't that bad", then I read my journal and realize it was harder than I remember. Thank you for coming to visit me, it has lifted my spirits so much and it gives me so much courage to go on, and I feel like "YES, I CAN DO THIS"
I couldn't think of any pictures to put on this one, you must be sick of seeing my grandkids, but next time , I will think of something, that's my favorite part of other people's posts.
I leave you my love, more than I have ever had before for anyone, and I hope you don't get tired of hearing this , but THANK YOU SO MUCH, you have truly gotten me through one of the most frightening experiences of my life.
Love, Karen the Kancer Killer (that has lots of loved ones helping out with the demise of her cancer)