I would have done this post 2 weeks ago, but I kept worrying about what pictures to put with it.
Finally I have realized that the feelings of my heart can put pictures in your minds. I am working very hard to stop worrying so much. I have worried myself into so many emotional fits, it's really ridiculous. I have learned firsthand that worrying only creates havoc with my heart, soul, and especially my body.
I have been seeing a counselor about my anxiety and she gave me a paper with "self-defeating' beliefs that many of us have.
One was, "IF I WORRY ENOUGH, EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT OK". I have accepted the fact that I have had this belief safely(that's an interesting word) tucked away in my brain and have made it part of my life for the last 30-50 years. It IS SELF DEFEATING ! This is war, I have to destroy the enemy!!!
Worrying creates anxiety, and that is my enemy!
My Stake President told me once this last year that feeling guilt really is an enemy to the mothers and women in general. He said "Godly sorrow" helps us to CHANGE. Feeling guilty just makes us feel sick all the time. I am trying to recognize when I feel guilty and when I feel Godly sorrow and need to make a change.
Let me just say that feeling "concerned" about something helps us to solve problems, but 'Worrying' is to let it consume you.
Now, to the Happier News:
It's Easter Time, I have always loved Easter, but this year is ENTIRELY different for me.
I set a goal after I was finished with my treatments that I would take an institute class on the New Testament, and I would join the ward choir, and read everything I could possibly read about the Savior. I truly desire to get to know Him. I need to develop a PERSONAL relationship with Him and feel His Reality. I know I have never done that up to this point. I have had faith about Him, but have not KNOWN.
I started the institute class and immediately felt the Spirit. It was on the Four Gospels. Last week it ended, and it ended with the last week of the Savior's life, and His resurrection. How perfect was that?? It's Easter, HE IS RISEN. Also, guess what songs we have been singing in the ward choir? Easter songs about THE SAVIOR!! Could I have planned this any more perfect myself?? NO, it is put together by a MASTER CREATOR. I feel the spirit so strong when we are singing those songs, I can imagine the Savior himself standing at the back of the chapel, up high of course, that causes me to LOOK UP to see Him and to greet Him.
What else would He want to do , except check in on His loved ones,..... US!.......Especially those who have "Chosen Him", over the world. I am in awe of all He did for 3- jam-packed years, (and this being His only chance at being mortal), and then ending it in such a dramatic way, that it even made HIM shrink and hesitate to drink the bitter cup; yet HE STILL TELLS US WE ARE FREE TO WANDER WHERE WE WILL, he has no demands on us. He has invitations for us, and promises for us, and blessings galore waiting for us. We just need to become one of His partners. It is SO much easier than I have ever made it out to be. It's as easy as loving a member of your family that you adore, and that adores you back.
I am coming to know HIM personally, I am believing in HIS REALITY. I am feeling it. What a gloious way to feel at Easter time. I am SO grateful. I have been shown so many tender mercies from Him and Heavenly Father, and YOU, Their earthly angels. I know my mom is aware, and I will know in the future of her involvement in my life. Can I say THANK YOU again?
I KNOW that YOU were inspired to help me. It all starts and ends with His love.
I wonder sometimes why I am so lucky. I heard a song this morning sung by Jeff McLean, and it said ,
Finally I have realized that the feelings of my heart can put pictures in your minds. I am working very hard to stop worrying so much. I have worried myself into so many emotional fits, it's really ridiculous. I have learned firsthand that worrying only creates havoc with my heart, soul, and especially my body.
I have been seeing a counselor about my anxiety and she gave me a paper with "self-defeating' beliefs that many of us have.
One was, "IF I WORRY ENOUGH, EVERYTHING WILL TURN OUT OK". I have accepted the fact that I have had this belief safely(that's an interesting word) tucked away in my brain and have made it part of my life for the last 30-50 years. It IS SELF DEFEATING ! This is war, I have to destroy the enemy!!!
Worrying creates anxiety, and that is my enemy!
My Stake President told me once this last year that feeling guilt really is an enemy to the mothers and women in general. He said "Godly sorrow" helps us to CHANGE. Feeling guilty just makes us feel sick all the time. I am trying to recognize when I feel guilty and when I feel Godly sorrow and need to make a change.
Let me just say that feeling "concerned" about something helps us to solve problems, but 'Worrying' is to let it consume you.
Now, to the Happier News:
It's Easter Time, I have always loved Easter, but this year is ENTIRELY different for me.
I set a goal after I was finished with my treatments that I would take an institute class on the New Testament, and I would join the ward choir, and read everything I could possibly read about the Savior. I truly desire to get to know Him. I need to develop a PERSONAL relationship with Him and feel His Reality. I know I have never done that up to this point. I have had faith about Him, but have not KNOWN.
I started the institute class and immediately felt the Spirit. It was on the Four Gospels. Last week it ended, and it ended with the last week of the Savior's life, and His resurrection. How perfect was that?? It's Easter, HE IS RISEN. Also, guess what songs we have been singing in the ward choir? Easter songs about THE SAVIOR!! Could I have planned this any more perfect myself?? NO, it is put together by a MASTER CREATOR. I feel the spirit so strong when we are singing those songs, I can imagine the Savior himself standing at the back of the chapel, up high of course, that causes me to LOOK UP to see Him and to greet Him.
What else would He want to do , except check in on His loved ones,..... US!.......Especially those who have "Chosen Him", over the world. I am in awe of all He did for 3- jam-packed years, (and this being His only chance at being mortal), and then ending it in such a dramatic way, that it even made HIM shrink and hesitate to drink the bitter cup; yet HE STILL TELLS US WE ARE FREE TO WANDER WHERE WE WILL, he has no demands on us. He has invitations for us, and promises for us, and blessings galore waiting for us. We just need to become one of His partners. It is SO much easier than I have ever made it out to be. It's as easy as loving a member of your family that you adore, and that adores you back.
I am coming to know HIM personally, I am believing in HIS REALITY. I am feeling it. What a gloious way to feel at Easter time. I am SO grateful. I have been shown so many tender mercies from Him and Heavenly Father, and YOU, Their earthly angels. I know my mom is aware, and I will know in the future of her involvement in my life. Can I say THANK YOU again?
I KNOW that YOU were inspired to help me. It all starts and ends with His love.
I wonder sometimes why I am so lucky. I heard a song this morning sung by Jeff McLean, and it said ,
"A tender mercy
has come to me..
It came from heaven
I do believe
Maybe why I was chosen
is because I CHOSE to see
God's tender mercies
are for those who believe
His tender mercies
are for you and for me"
I was puzzled about being humble and knowing it at the same time, but I heard my answer in Conference when President Monson said, "I am your HUMBLE servant" That struck me hard! He is humble, and he knows it, and it does not make him PROUD at all!
I can say now, I am humble, I know it, and I feel tender, grateful, meek, and teachable. I am thirsting for more. I think I have been blessed because I CHOSE Heavenly Father and HIS SON. I have asked for their guidance every step of the way. I can see now there is NO BETTER WAY than THEIR way.
I just thought of a perfect picture when I think of the Tender Mercies I have been shown, you have seen this picture before, but I will keep it in my mind forever.
I love......so much,........all of you......everyone.......everything,...........what a tender mercy to be blessed with LOVE, CHRISTLIKE LOVE.
Love 4-ever, Karen
9 comments:
That was such a beautiful testimony and it warmed my heart to read it! Thank you Mom!
I love reading your posts. They remind me so much of your old young womens lessons. I remember your pitcher you brought in and each week we would fill it. It's like having my pitcher filled again. Thanks Karen. Love you!
WOW! YOU'RE AN AMAZING WOMAN! YOU REMIND ME OF JULIE BECK---I'VE KNOWN HER FOREVER (FROM ALPINE). YOUR POSTS ARE A LOT LIKE HER TALKS!
Beautiful. You - your words - everything. What a perfect read to start my day off! Thanks Karen!
Thank you for your words, they really touched me. Kylen is working on a talk for this Sunday about the Atonement...I'll make sure he reads this for some inspiration. We love you and Happy Easter!
Oh Karen....i so needed that about guilt! (and anxiety/worry!) thank you so much. and, thank you for whatever magical thing you are doing in primary, because you are getting through to my little drake in a major way! its amazing to hear him tell me EVERY SINGLE WORD you say...he is learning from you and i thank you for that. he actually said, "mom, now i see why my primary teacher...uuuh, whats her name?....i see why you are friends with her." YOU ARE AWESOME! thanks for the testimony and reminder of how special this holiday is and the opportunities that are right in front of us to grow closer to our Savior. XOXO
Karen- You are my hero! I am so happy for you! and for me that you are my friend! You teach me alot. I am very sad to say that I am not your visiting techer anymore. I will miss you but that doesn't mean you won't see me anymore either. Lets continue to do lunch!
Love you!
What a wonderful Easter message. Thanks, Karen!!
Karen,
Your Easter message was beautiful and thought provoking. You have a gift with words and a special way of getting into people's hearts. Thanks for all your heart-felt soul searching because it creates questions and thoughts for all of us to ponder and an opportunity for us to grow too. You're amazing!
Love you,
Monique
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