Turning to the Lord

These people have taught me alot over the last few years. These girls are my heroes.

These women "Turn to the Lord" when there is a trial.

First on the left is Hilary Weeks, she is an LDS songwriter and singer.

Most of her songs teach us all about "Turning To The Lord"

Her music has taught ME more than I could tell you in words.

Next is Krystal, she has had a most recent hardship with a new baby.

After me, is Heather, she had a trauma with her 2 yr old at the same time that Krystal was having her trial .

Tara, the youngest of the three here, hoped that she was not next.

Unfortunately, her family's Spiritual safety was threatened.

ALL these women know how to Turn To The Lord and I will tell you how they did it.

This is Carter Edward Trapnell. He was born Jan. 29, and is 3 wks old here in this picture. RSV season was here and he could not avoid catching it, no matter how hard his mother tried. He had to be admitted to Utah Valley Hospital, and at first was put on a CPAP to help him breathe. After 2 days, his condition worsened and he was intubated, meaning he was put on a ventilator to help him breathe. That is a much more serious condition. We later learned that one lobe of his lung had collapsed and between that and the mucus that was being produced, he could barely get enough oxygen, one time showing in the 40% range on the oximeter. VERY scary.

His mother prayed,

she had him get a priesthood blessing, she endured 12 days in the hospital with almost NO complaint. She wanted to know what the Lord had in mind for little Carter. She couldn't nurse him about half of those days and had to pump. Not to mention, she still had 3 children at home that needed their mommy. She went back and forth from the hospital to home, trying to keep everyone at peace with what was happening. She got almost no sleep whether she was at home or the hospital.

She continued to pray, and pray.

She had faith.

She never got angry at Heavenly Father. She never asked "WHY ME, WHY CARTER?" She clung to her faith, knowing that all things shall work together for their good. She held on. She held up. She continued to pray.

Carter eventually was reduced down to just oxygen before he finally was released to go home.

Tara's family:

This little family was spiritually attacked by Satan. He knows what a strong and beautiful family this is. He knows of their future potential. He worked on dad, and found some weaknesses in Daddy's ability to "Do It All", who was trying to go to college full time, and was working at an afternoon job part time. He was being daddy and husband part time, trying to make it full time if possible. Many things did not get done , some that needed serious attention and some that did not. He didn't get much sleep. Scriptures and prayer started to become a thing of the past that he hoped he would soon get around to. Discouragement set in. Negative thoughts filled his mind. Four children under 3 yrs old leaves very little time for the marriage relationship and for personal pondering and prayer. He started to question many things, especially his worth to others. Failures in school and other areas began to plague him with guilt. Temptations started to look enticing. Revenge looked somewhat inviting. He couldn't understand all that he was feeling , so he became numb to any feelings at all. He made a phone call to a "number" on a screen that looked like it might be someone to "just talk to". He never wanted to jeopardize his marriage or family, but it was starting to sound so innocent just to talk to someone. He rejected all the text messages that were inviting him to "talk" in private. He kept erasing all the messages. Soon, he was too weak to resist the temptations. He succumbed, and felt as if "someone else" was in control and went to "meet" someone at a hotel. It never was anyone other than the police all along. Thank the Heavens for DIVINE INTERVENTION.! It has been humiliating and painful for all this to become public knowledge, as it was in full color on the front page of the local newspaper just 3 days later. (the only reason I am sharing this with you now).

As devastating as it was, Tara NEVER wavered, she never cried.

She was completely held up by the Holy Ghost.

She has turned to the Lord at every moment of this experience. She has asked him "Heavenly Father, what do you want me to do next?"

She and her husband both received priesthood blessings.

The Spirit told her to love unconditionally, to be understanding,

to see what she can do to lift her husband and help him back to his feet,

where he belongs.

She has felt the love of the Savior more than once in her life. She is now learning once again how the Atonement can change her life forever.

She has turned to her scriptures. She has found much peace. Her husband also has turned to the Lord. He is well on his way to full repentance and forgiveness. They both see it as a severe wake up call.

NO ONE is tough enough to tangle with Satan. No one can let discouragement stay. It comes, yes, but it cannot stay. The adversary is watching constantly for an open window, or a crack in the door. We must have our "ARMOR" on. We must keep it on. They are both very open about what they are experiencing, and WANT to share it if it can help others to avoid such heartache. They will survive.................................. because they "Turned to The Lord".

Heather had a frightening experience right before Krystal and Tara had theirs. Heather's however, lasted all through both of her sisters: almost 3 weeks, was Heather's nightmare. Kalia, their 2 yr old had discovered a thick and heavy drinking glass in the bathroom. While she was in the bathtub one night, she accidentally fell on it as it broke to pieces. It cut her bottom so deep that it was clear to the bone, and even partially severed her sciatic nerve. This little girl went in and out of surgery 3 times to fix all that was wrong.

She spent over 15 days laying in a hospital bed, being allowed to go home for a day or two, only to learn that a serious infection required her to be hospitalized once again to have IV antibiotics. There were over 60 stitches trying to put her skin back together. A plastic surgeon was called. A neurosurgeon was called about the sciatic nerve.

Heather never wavered.

She prayed. She had Kalia get a priesthood blessing. She prayed some more.

She cried with her little one. She sat in awe of this little girl "jumping" a few days after surgery, after Doctors said she may never be able to walk normal with out pain. Heather trusted in her Heavenly Father. She knew He could make her whole. She knew He would do whatever was best for their family. She slept at the hospital most nights. She studied everything about the medical care that she could. She knew almost as much as the Doctors did when they would arrive to orient the parents.

She continued to pray. She has witnessed a miracle. She "Turned to The Lord".
(Kalia is able to walk, run, and jump normally, and has no side effects of any kind, besides a lovely scar.)

Kalia learned from her mommy and daddy to TRUST in Priesthood Power,

and wanted all the blessings this OIL would give her

All 3 of my married daughters have experienced trials in the last month and a half. All 3 have shown me, their mother, that they have heard the lessons I tried to teach them. I thought they weren't listening. But they were. When people have asked me how I am doing through all of this craziness, I have felt my heart burst with JOY.

I am not happy that these things have happened to any of them. I am old enough now to see that trials are part of our lives. BUT............................

The gospel and our testimonies are GOING TO GET US THROUGH.

When we "TURN TO THE LORD", all things will work out for our best good.

We will get through tough times. HE WILL help us. HE WANTS to help us.

It's hard for HIM to see us stumble, but HE KNOWS the outcome.

He just wants our hearts........

.........He has everything else He could ever want.

WHAT A BLESSING TO KAREN, the Kancer Killer, (as Krystal named me 2 yrs ago this month.) I am so thankful that I am alive to witness my daughters. "Turning to The Lord".

After all the trials were almost over, I got to spend some "JOYFUL" time with 3 of my granddaughters. I tended one night so moms could have an hour or two or reprieve. I wish Heather's girls could have been here too. That would have made for a perfect evening with the girls.

We painted toenails all different colors to cheer ourselves up. We painted fingernails too.

Then we got them all shined up and I curled their hair , just like I did to their mothers.

Oh, how I love my girls.

Oh, how I love to see them "Turn to the Lord",

Now it's time to teach the next generation!!

I see the "LIGHT" of the Savior in their eyes, do you?

Extremely Grateful..................for my strength...

On January 27th, we are at Krystal's house in Orem Utah just minutes away from driving to the Missionary Training Center in Provo about 5 miles away,where Jonathan will spend 2 months learning Spanish before he takes off to Mendoza Argentina. Here we see Jeff, Krystal, Addison ( a favorite cousin that also lives in Orem (ditching school to say goodbye to Jonny), Kimberlee, who, needed to get her braces tightened by the new orthodontist in the family, Krystal's husband Jeff. Then there is Kevin and Heidi, 2 more cousins that love Jonny (also ditching school) and you can see me holding Kyla on my lap and Allie next to me, and I hope it is obvious to you, that Jonny is the one with the suit on. Then Dale is next to him.Boy, am I HAPPY to get him on a mission! I have looked forward to this for 19 years, and the last 10 months have been anxious ones for me. I have to admit, he sure is good looking in this picture , isn't he?

Notice here, that Krystal is 8 1/2 months pregnant, and they said their goodbyes outside the parking lot because now-a-days, you LITERALLY DROP off your missionary at the curb!!
Notice Damon is missing because his parents wouldn't let HIM ditch school. :) He was sad :(

Well, after we dropped Jonny off, there was only ONE person crying!! It wasn't me, it was KIMBERLEE. I know why she was crying though, not so much that she was going to miss Jonny, (she gets his room, his car and everything else she wants), but she DOES NOT want to be alone WITH DALE AND I!!!! This means that she is our ONLY child left at home. (Another thing I have waited many years for :D )

Well, since the Dr told Krystal that she was only dilated to a 1, or 1 1/2, I decided to drive home to St George and go back when she had the baby, maybe in a week or two. Her due date was February 14th, and that was 18 days away.

I was home for about 30 hours when I got a phone call that baby boy was in a little distress. His heart rate was having de-celerations when Krystal was submitted to a stress or non-stress test. The Dr was inducing labor right then. I jumped up, showered, quickly packed and took care of any details that I thought were necessary, like pick up Rx's that I would need, etc. I got on the road about 2-3 hrs later, took about 4 more hours to drive to Provo and when I was 22 miles away, Jeff called me to tell me that she was "pushing" AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I started to cry, how could I miss it when I was so close? I shouldn't have taken time to shower or pick up that Rx. Well, I still hurried along the best I could and when I arrived on University Avenue, I called to see if he was here, and Jeff said that they were at a standstill because he was face up, and they were going to have to use a vaccuum. "YES", I shouted. I had a baby face up, so it's only fair that this one is so I can make it in time. (My mom wasn't allowed in the delivery room for my face up baby)

I walked in the delivery room, and the nurse questioned, "Grandma?" , when I said yes, the Dr who was at Krystal's feet, said "OK, here we go ", and he put a suction cup on the baby's head and pulled him out: Can you see the suctioned circle on his head?
For 16 days early, he was a good sized baby, 7 lb. 1 oz. 19 1/2 inches long. Good thing she didn't go until her due date. The only thing unusual about him was his umbilical cord. It had 2 vessels in it instead of 3. The Dr showed it to Jeff and I and it looked like a wet noodle, very flimsy in a couple sections. They say 80% of babies with 2 vessels are completely normal, but some of them have kidney problems later in life. About 5 years ago, Krystal delivered a stillborn baby boy that had, interestingly enough, a 2 vessel cord. The Dr's back then said that the cord had nothing to do with him not making it. Her water broke at 20 weeks, and for 5 days, that little boy fought for his life inside with no fluid, until her body went into labor and delivered him, at 12 oz, and 10 inches long. She went on to have 2 more children, both girls, and now this baby boy was very much wanted in this family. Nerves were only a little on edge during this pregnancy, but to see him come out healthy and whole was a big relief. If he has kidney problems, Krystal and Jeff feel like they will just deal with it.
I decided I wanted to stay for a while (I mean after all I had my Rx's that I needed for 2 wks) and help out, even though she had an easy labor, I knew that there would be 3 other kids needing attention and I wanted a chance to spend some time with them, I don't get near enough of these little darlings.Damon is 7, and I ran him back and forth to school, Allie is 4 and has either pre-school or a computer class 4 days a week that she needed a taxi for, and Kyla is 2 and really needed someone to play with to prevent her from mauling the baby. Of course, I REALLY wanted to sit and hold a new born, and hope I could get to look into his eyes if they were ever open. That is one of my favorite things to do, hold, smell, and look at a newborn!! I love it.

While I was there, I took advantage of spending some time with my sister since we don't do that enough, and we went to Michael's to learn more about decorating Valentine cookies. I wanted all the kids to come with me, (I tried to let Krystal have quiet time with the baby as often as I could) 2 of them played at a cousins house, while Kyla came with me. We were surprised to see how color-coordinated we all 3 were :)

When we got home, I just HAD to have some cookies, so I made some dough, and the next day, all 3 kids helped me cut them out and they (only they, not me), decorated these lovely cookies. They were pretty proud, and really enjoyed eating them.Damon is really a craft lover, and wanted to make his own Valentines. I helped him for 4 days. He had 24 kids is his class and each valentine had 3 different colored hearts cut out, and some of them had a pop up message inside. He is just starting here by using a cookie cutter to trace around.
Krystal had been trying to get a black and white picture of Carter, oh BTW, that's what they named him. The first set of pictures, the baby had been awake and didn't cooperate well, so one night , I was holding him and as he fell asleep and curled up his little legs, I grabbed a white blanket, laid him next to a white wall, and asked Krystal to get her camera. She caught this sweet one. If you look closely, you can see he was having a sweet dream about how wonderful heaven was. :)
He is a beautiful child. I got pretty attached and didn't want to leave him
His mom was pretty crazy about him too. Yes, she is tired, OF COURSE, I told her women would hate her if she didn't have the normal routine of trials after a new baby.
I took this picture, cuz I think he is so dang cute.
Oops, this is out of order, Damon and Carter at the hospitalAllie climbing up on Krystal thinking she is going to stay the night next to her mom :)Kyla trying on grandma's glasses. (She wouldn't give them back either, even though I gave her a sucker)Yes, I had a LOT of fun with my grandkids. I helped Krystal with Carter during the night. After she fed him I would try to keep his binky in and rock him if necessary. I loved every minute of it. I felt like I was on vacation at times. (My roommate from college took me to 2 Jazz games while I was there) I even found a night to attend the Mt Timpanogas temple.

I did a lot of laundry and a lot of cooking, and baking. Jeff said I really came through when I made him a lemon meringue pie. :)

But the day before I left, I was trying to straighten out my hair because chemo made it SO curly.Krystal and I had to take a picture and have a good laugh; THIS is what 2 WEEKS with 4 kids did to me:

BUT : I am VERY grateful to have strength again. It is amazing to me that 2 yrs ago, I found a lump, then had 2 surgeries, 8 doses of chemotherapy, 6 wks or radiation, then another surgery, and that was followed by a year of fatigue.

I have my energy back, and I am so blessed. The cancer, however, is not back. What more could I ask for?

I am a lucky girl. I know that.

I want to be a good girl. HE knows that.

I still love you all,

Love, Karen (the Kancer Killer :)

"Sleep in Heavenly Peace..............."

This is one of the sweetest pictures ever............ This is Jayda Karen Alofipo, born Nov. 29, 2009

This is what I call "Sleep in Heavenly Peace"

Throughout the entire month of December, I kept thinking about this thought; "Sleep in Heavenly Peace". I wanted more sleep. I wanted more peace.

Why does December have everything in it; the best of times, the worst of times; the most memorable family moments, and the most stressful and hair-pulling moments?

I had planned on being a little bit more calm this year. That was my goal.

I thought I had it all figured out.
Shop early. Chill out.

Plan. Plan. Plan. Write out my plan. Put my plan in a notebook.

Chill out.

Enjoy Every Day.

Carry out my PLAN.

Cherish EVERY moment.

Chill out. Rest a little every day.

Meditate and plan some more EVERY day.

BUT.........

This is how I felt.......in spite of all my planning

Even though it's Dale in the picture, I felt like I was the one being "chewed up" by the bear. The bear of 'stress and anxiety'.

( Just looking at that bear makes me feel anxious. :) Long story for another day.)

I spent the last 20 months of my life learning to "CHILL OUT". "It's all good", as some of you would say. I kept telling myself that whatever happened was going to be just that, "all good". December is a month of special feelings and I WAS NOT going to get stressed out and be a screaming idiot that no one wants to be around. That was the "old Karen", and I have changed ;)

I did learn a hard lesson this last month: "Old habits don't die easy"

Now it's over. It's January 1st, 2010. (btw, Are we going to call it twenty-ten?)

I am going over everything that happened.

Did I accomplish what I wanted to?

Did I enjoy my family?

Did my family enjoy ME?

What did I LOVE about the holidays?

(lovingly known by me in the past, as the "HOLI-DAZE")

I am going to list a few "LOVES"...

I loved thinking about others while I was shopping.

I loved listening to my children and their spouses laugh together at 2 am.

I loved watching my grandchildren perform the Nativity.

I loved eating Prime Rib. (rare is the best)

I loved hearing that others loved the gift I gave them.

I loved looking at my Christmas tree.

I loved soft white lights around the house.

I loved seeing "babies" all over representing baby Jesus.

I loved hearing my grandbabies say "thesus"

I loved the space I had in my new kitchen.

I loved being alive.

I loved having energy.

I loved feeling a lot like my old self.

I loved that I finally got my "sleep in heavenly peace";

today from 1-5 pm

what did you LOVE about December??

I want to hear ALL about the good things that you saw and

experienced that made December special to you.

Maybe I can try some of them next year.

I hope you had a MERRY CHRISTMAS

AND I am wishing all of you a

HAPPY NEW YEAR

New Perspective on Christmas and Thanksgiving

You might think that is an odd way to talk about Christmas and Thanksgiving, putting Christmas first.

I used to have a pet peeve about people putting up their Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving. I have always felt that we should do ONE holiday at a time.

And why did the stores have to put out Christmas items as soon as Halloween was over??? I thought, "For goodness sake, let's not forget about Thanksgiving, with all of the warm colors, beautiful leaves and decor, and gratitude, and family surrounding us, and everything else that we are grateful for. I felt like people just wanted to RUSH into Christmas, WHY couldn't they just WAIT until December??

In my opinion, there should be ONE holiday per month, and that's all.

This year, for the first time in all of my adult life, I see it differently.

I will tell you why.

This little package is sitting on my shelf as we speak (well, kind of speak)

I fell in love with this saying about "Presence"/"Presents" at Deseret Book this year. It was all over different gift items, and it was one I hadn't heard............it's a great thought.

I found myself starting to pick up little things around town, everytime I would go shopping for something else, I would find things for Christmas. I thought how good it would be to have a head start; something I don't remember ever having before.

This is unusual to have anything out that's red and green in November. I loved this sign when I saw it because the family I grew up in always has to "EXPLAIN" everything. It wasn't intended that way when this tradition got started, but nonetheless it happens EVERY Christmas, not to mention, I laughed out loud while I was shopping just thinking about the little kids who try so hard to be "nice" instead of naughty, but sometimes circumstances lead us to be "naughty", and if only Santa will listen to our side of the story.....so here's to Santa giving us a "second chance".

Back to my previous thoughts about November:

"I only want to think about one holiday at a time"

I made some placecards for the 30-40 people that will be eating at our table, so I created these little gems with foiled confetti; Thanksgiving confetti ; something I had not seen before. I really enjoyed doing this little craft. :)

I love making a centerpiece for my kitchen table. It was a necessity about 10 years ago when I accidentally broke my flower arrangement that sat in the middle, and I have decorated the center with the "holiday of the month" theme ever since.

It was actually on a day last week when it hit me

I drove by this part of my neighborhood, and I saw these trees.

We don't see a lot of color change here is Southern Utah.

The beautiful colors don't last long either.

For some reason, this took my breath away..........

and I realized HOW GRATEFUL I WAS,

and it ALL came together,

Christmas AND Thanksgiving!

This beautiful world, the family, and the luxuries that we enjoy,

are ALL from

Our Creator, and His Son!!

What is Christmas all about??

Celebrating the birth of our Savior!

and we feel Gratitude for Heavenly Father, God of us all,

Who sent His Son to change our lives forever.

I have everything to be grateful for, especially good, I mean GREAT health

and Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to reflect on all of it.

Christmas and Thanksgiving go together so much better now.

I am learning SO MUCH as I grow up.

I love growing up.

I am so thankful to have TWO holidays

right together.

I love Christmas shopping in November.

I love red and green decorations put up early.

I love being GRATEFUL for Christmas!!

"And I will make weak things become strong unto them"

I don't care for weaknesses much, especially not my own.

After my "cancer year", I am finally letting other people have a weakness here and there, and I am cutting them some slack. What about Karen, do you cut her any slack? hhhmmmm..........(this is just me thinking out loud, I am not asking YOU this question) :)

The Lord said that he gave us "Weakness" for a reason, didn't he? Let me remind you about the scripture that I am referring to:

Ether 12:27

And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. (Dale had to point out that it does NOT say weakness-es, ) I give unto men "weakness" (so it must mean that we are not perfect in EVERYTHING like we wish we were) that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

I see one strong person in this picture: SUPERMAN, aka Maddux, and he does not know that he has ANY weakness at all!! lol

Grandpa is watching a video of "Monster Mash" where Tara put her family's faces in place of Frankenstein and the other characters, and they are dancing around to music, it was hilarious, and "picture-worthy" to see this cute little family of mine enjoying it together ( this picture really had nothing to do with my post, but I knew you would love it.....tee hee.........)
OK, since you were wanting to see some more of my grandkids, here's one more superhero, "Supergirl Kenya". She REALLY wanted to try the costume on, she has to do everything the boys do!!

Back to what I was saying:

(this just made me realize that I jump around a lot with my thoughts, have you ever noticed that?, Dale is NOT a fan of it)

Anyway, Lately I have been thinking about my weakness, well one in particular..........

Self- Dicipline..... I know .........that's not a common one, but it's mine :)

at least this week.............

Now, forgive me if you think this is really weird, (I could swear the I comes before E except after C, but spell check said to spell weird this way, no thought jumping here, is there?)

A few years ago, one of my daughters told me she was memorizing scriptures while she was in the shower. I was intrigued to say the least. After thinking about it for a month or more I decided I would try it. My first scripture was Ether 12:27, and as you will see here in a minute, it still is in my shower today.

Well, during my "Cancer Year", tons of thoughts became special to me, and I was so full of anxiety that I read MANY MANY to help calm myself down. My shower became a place of refuge...........I read and memorized many thoughts in there. I plastered the shower walls with thoughts and even a picture of a bronze statue of the Savior with a caption that said "The Healings of Jesus Christ" You have to remember I had extra time on my hands while in the shower, I had NO hair to wash or rinse, so a shower could take all of 60 seconds unless I did something else. I had all kinds of thoughts like, "Karen, there's just one thing you have to do, and that is to take good care of you", and "Take it easy, take it slow, put your feet up, let it go" (I didn't put my feet up in the shower :)) Those two thoughts were cards some of you sent me and I cut them apart and put plastic clear tape on them so they would stick to the wall.

Others like this one, I wrote myself. It's a quote from the book, "Believing Christ", and I believed it enough to memorize it. It didn't take long to memorize.........:)

This was a comfort to me, and it still is, as a matter of fact, this morning in the shower, I felt a big relief as I once again read it. I am trying to re-"Self-Dicipline" myself according to what I have learned over the last year and what the Doctors have insisted I need to do if I want my health.............a thought to jump to..............."HEALTH IS WEALTH", boy do I believe that!
So, here I turn to the other shower wall this morning and remind myself that I am not made to be SUPERWOMAN like I have imagined so many times over the last 50 years (my mom instilled a lot of confidence in me). I am full of strength and talent, etc., but ONLY when I take the hand of the Lord, and my creator who made me and knows me best.

I am determined to be humble, and productive, and lovable, and easy to be around. Please be patient with me while I keep trying.

One last thought for the morning before I get out of the shower.

This one is from a talk in General Conference in April 09, by Kevin Pearson.

It hit me like a ton of bricks, when I think about it, it is SO true about EVERYTHING!!

I will continue to "Focus" on my goals

I love you all , especially those who take the time to read what I have written, and then comment. I LOVE to read your comments, they give me so much strength to go on, you will never know!!! LOVE TO ALL OF YOU, Love 4-ever, Karen

PS I see the Dr on Nov. 6th to have more tests, wish me luck!!

"Opposition in All Things", especially CANCER

We know that life is full of opposition, and it is supposed to be that way. Sometimes we wonder why, but after some serious thought, we know that all the negatives in our lives make our good times SO much better. Well, cancer is no exception. I expected to be sick 24/7 because I saw the hell my mother went through. I was overwhelmed with gratitude when it wasn't that way for me. Knowing the opposite was possible made my experience all the sweeter. (Oh how time sweetens my memory)

I want to tell you a story about a dear friend. This picture was taken about 7 or 8 years ago. We call this group "Club". It started out to be a group of young moms needing to get out once a month and eat and visit and we were going to play "ROOK" originally. It is now 25 years later, and we have played Rook twice. What we have done is for another post.
From left to right starting at the back is Kristine Gardner, Darla Lyman, Shauna Stout (now Oliver), Elizabeth Adams, Iona Syphus, and Lori Hafen.

Front row is Kim Esplin, Karen Esplin, Sheri Feller, and Brenda Graff.

This story is about Kristine.

About 7 years ago, she was diagnosed with Leukemia. We were all frightened. She was put on a drug that miraculously sent her into remission. She still takes that pill everyday. Well, last December, right about the time I was ending my treatments, she found a lump in her neck. It turned out to be cancer in the lymph nodes, which was actually a symptom of lung cancer. She was given 4 months to live if she did not do any treatments. She has 2 sons still at home, a 12 yr old, and a 16 yr old, and one son on a mission. Then she has four married kids. She wasn't ready to check out of this life, so of course she chose to fight. This picture is all of us again on December 12, 2008. She had received the diagnosis the day before and we called an "emergency" meeting of club to give support. I am the one on the front row, very different looking from the last picture. I was COMPLETELY different on the inside than I was before too. We all got there before Kristine did, and I broke down and bawled. I didn't think I was going to pull it together, but miraculously I did. Kristine is the 2nd one from the left on the back row. It's hard to tell here, but there were a lot of red noses from all of our sniffling. No major bawling like before she got there.
She started chemo right before Christmas and had it as often as they could give it to her, generally every 3 weeks, but she got so deathly sick, and was hospitalized almost more than she was at home. At one point she was in intensive care barely hanging on to life. Her husband heard her talking to a deceased Aunt. She only remembers telling Heavenly Father that she felt she was going to die, and for him to go ahead and take her. Well, He didn't and she returned to somewhat better health some time later. She had to be fed through a tube due to so many complications.

When she went for her PET scan in the summer, I was POSITIVE she would have a partial remission if not a full one.

I was wrong, The cancer had spread to both lungs now, and had spread to the bones in the spinal cord, and to her adrenal gland. Not good news. I was devastated. I really thought the chemo mixed with the leukemia drug was going to be a miraculous cure for lung cancer. The Dr. was not very encouraging as to what to do next. She insisted on trying something else.
Here we are in August 2 months ago, only 7 of us could make it that day, but Kristine is the 3rd one from the left. She was trying the new chemo that the Dr. somewhat reluctantly was trying. She was feeling more energy than ever, less sickness than ever, and doc told her that her hair would start to grow back (wig in this pic), I was suspicious that he was giving her a placebo or something. Back to the title of my post, "Opposition in All Things, ...............WHAT Do you think happened?

Doctor decided to do only 3 treatments and then a PET scan to see if it was doing any good.

The news was good. The cancer in the spinal cord and the adrenal gland had come to a screeching halt.!! hurray, but the best part of all is that they could no longer find any cancer in the lungs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was screaming on the phone, jumping up and down,,,,,,,,,yelling "IT"S A MIRACLE", It really is. She started more of the same chemo the very next day, and I will keep you updated, but this could be the magical medicine. He said it is a drug they give to patients with asbestos, but sometimes lung cancer patients respond to it.

Speaking of opposition, I will leave you with a little Halloween photo from Halloween last year 2008, I actually wanted to delete this sick photo of me trying to be a pumpkin with my fuzz starting to grow back, but then decided it would actually make me look better this year

Hey, I actually LIKE this opposition thing sometimes!! It certainly has helped me to appreciate anything positive that is happening to me this year. ESPECIALLY my hair, even though it is practically a "FRO", I am HAPPY to have it.

The curl is not a perm, but I think they put something special in my chemo to make it come back this way
This is September 17th, the night of the rodeo, hence the bandana, but woo hoo for the hair, and Yahoo for "Opposition in All Things"

Love to you all,

Remember, "Someone somewhere has survived every cancer there is" There is always HOPE!

Love, Karen the Kancer Killer

Things That Grow Slowly...Live Longer

I didn't intend to do a study about trees, but nevertheless, it has happened. I heard a quote from Elder Boyd K. Packer, "Things that grow slowly, live longer". I heard this about the time that I was in the middle of chemotherapy. I was having a hard time relaxing and couldn't lay in bed to let my body take care of itself. It was just "Too Hard", I thought.

But I DID want to live longer. Could I learn to "Grow Slowly"?

Why is it that growing slow makes you live longer anyway?

Well, I did some research, not a lot of course, and not right away, but SLOWLY over the last year. :)

This is what I discovered. Pine trees grow slow and tall. Oak trees grow slowly, and become very large, and have a STRONG root system. They don't fall over very easily because of those

roots.

Slower growing trees channel their energy into structural support and defense compounds. (Hmm, is there a lesson here?)

Rapidly growing trees are more prone to frequent, catastrophic disturbances such as windstorms. They may put all of their energy into growth and burn out before they can achieve old-age. (that couldn't possibly be related to anything about MY life, could it?)

It may be a "tortoise and the hare" situation. Slow and steady wins the race.

During my cancer year, I was told by my husband, my doctor, and the Holy Ghost that one of the lessons I was to be learning was how to slow down.

I can barely comprehend what that means. There were days when I thought I was getting it. Now there are days when I don't get it.

But, SLOWLY, I am getting it.

I remembered a poem that Dale gave me and I taped it inside my Day-Planner. ( oooh, I wonder if people who use day planners are considered slow growing....live longer,

kind of people)

Here's the poem, you may have heard it,

I will emphasize the words that have meaning to me

"Slow me down, Lord

ease the POUNDING of my heart (I get tachycardia often, not dangerous, just annoying)

By the quieting of my mind (rarely happens)

steady my hurried pace

with a vision of eternal reach of time

Give me,

amidst the confusion of my day,

the calmness of the everlasting hills (I experienced this in Park City in July)

break the tensions of my nerves (a constant problem)

with the soothing music of the singing streams

that live in my memory (sorry, don't have any)

Help me to know

the magical restoring power of sleep (this is almost incomprehensible sometimes)

teach me the art

of taking minute vacations of slowing down (having an aging grandma did this for me once)

to look at a flower

to chat with an old friend or make a new one;

to pet a stray dog

to watch a spider build a web

to smile at a child

or to read a few good lines from a good book (that's all I can handle at one time)

Remind me each day

that the race is not always to the swift

that there is more to life than increasing its speed (that's opposite of what I always believed)

LET ME LOOK UPWARD (YES)

into the branches of the towering oak

and know that it grew great and strong

because it grew slowly and well.

Slow me down Lord,

and inspire me to send my roots deep

into the soil of life's enduring values

that I may grow toward the stars

of my greater destiny

Orin L. Crain (no idea who that is)

It's a GREAT Goal, don't you think.

Yesterday, it all started to come together for me. I want to record it, so that it can do some good in my life. I remember things much better after I write them down.

I have been going to a cancer support group meditation every Monday. We always work on our breathing,(that was an interesting thing to learn, we learn that we can control something that is automatic in our bodies, i.e. inhale for so many seconds, hold for so long, and exhale at a speed that you choose, hence our brain is learning that we can CONTROL automatic things like thoughts) and we often do visual imagery.

Yesterday, we imagined a tree. The roots went deep into the earth. The leaves were beautiful, but after a while, they didn't serve us anymore, and we LET GO of our leaves......like the trees do in the fall. We let go of anything that doesn't serve us anymore. (my thought were things like temper tantrums, yelling, getting mad, getting offended, all things I USED TO DO :) )

I was mostly focused on the roots, growing so slowly and becoming so strong that the WINDS of trial CANNOT blow it over.

I have always had my volume turned up on high, I just came to earth that way.

I didn't realize it could be both a blessing and a curse, until I turned 50. I am starting to see that I do a lot of things fast. I talk fast. I move fast. I think fast. (not always clearly, but fast) I have expected everyone and everything around me to be FAST.

I need some advice on HOW TO SLOW DOWN, and GROW SLOWLY.

Anybody out there got anything??

One scripture to end with:

Jeremiah 17: 7-8

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is.

For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see (fear) when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful (worry) in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit"

awesome, huh?