Still trying to figure out LIFE

I am on some heavy drugs here, I had just barely woken up from the anesthesia, and I'll tell you, the first thing I thought of when I saw this picture was, "Oh my gosh, I look HORRIBLE" My next thought was, "I am SO VAIN", and of course that led to ," I am so not humble after all". Why do I lead my thoughts right down the path of despair?Thank you for your thoughts about humility, I am still looking for more advice, so please comment on the humility one, or here, it's making for a very good Sunday School lesson for me!!

This sign is made the old fashioned way of wood burning, anybody remember those days? A couple of years ago, I was with a friend at a gift shop, and we laughed so hard when we read this, and I said "I have to have that, that is so me!!!" I want the Lord to lead my pathways , but I talk ENTIRELY too much, and say things that I should not say. Now that I have had this shoulder surgery, I had to let you see a picture of it because it applies more than ever now.

For instance, just Friday I went to see the cancer Dr. to check on my lab work, etc. and after I asked how I was doing,(referring to the blood work results), he said , "You're like Mary Poppins",and my mouth said, "why, do you think I am a phony?", he laughed and said, 'NO, remember when she measures the kids and herself, and she is "practically perfect in every way"...............oh my heck, I am such a ding dong, why did I call Mary Poppins a phony? What's up with that?" He is trying to say something positive and nice, and I say a stupid thing like that. A few years ago, my mouth was getting out of control, and I started praying at the beginning of each day that the Holy Ghost would warn me when I was about to say something stupid, and help me not to say it, and it worked. Obviously I need to start praying for that again.

This is after I woke up and got dressed one day, which WAS NOT easy, but you can see my hair is starting to grow even thicker and curlier now, but my VAIN side cannot stand it, the little Jay Leno gray thing in the middle, and the DARK salt and PEPPER haircolor. I am disappointed in myself that I even care, I am so thankful to have no cancer, and any hair at all, I need to be more grateful. That was one of my bits of advice last post, and I love it. Focus on what you DO have, instead of what you DON"T.

We have to have a quick peek at Kenya, now 6 1/2 months old. We found this darling dress at the Dickens Festival and gave it to her for Christmas, but this is the first day she wore it.....she is a dream baby, another "Mary Poppins" if I do say so myself.

I have been called to teach Primary and I had to show you some fun things (so I could cheer myself up). The kids are 6 turning 7, and just darling, I already love them so much. I have had to have Dale and Heather help me since the surgery, but today I did it all by myself. Heather gave me some good ideas on getting their attention, and they turned out so cute, you have to see them. One funny story I have to tell you first is the first week the lesson was on the war in heaven and how we all fit into this plan, I was explaining to the kids about voting for Jesus, and how we know that because we have a body, and the ones that voted for Lucifer didn't get a body. One of the children (who will remain anonymous) insisted that one of their parents had voted for Lucifer. I tried my hardest to convince them that wasn't possible because they were here on the earth. The child continued to tell everyone in the class that their parent HAD to have voted for Lucifer because that parent drinks alcohol, takes drugs, and smokes "smoke sticks". I could just see this child going home telling this parent that they learned in Primary about the vote in heaven and who voted for Satan. aaaahhhh! I did my best to convince the child that their parent indeed to vote to follow Jesus, but they forgot, and maybe that child could pray for that parent. "WHEW" This could be a tough class.

One of the next lessons was on the boyhood of Joseph Smith, and Heather suggested that I show them how his family had to clear the land, and then built a log cabin when he was a boy, so she and I made little trees out of large pretzels and broccoli, and we let the kids stick them in green styrofoam, and then we let them knock them over and pull them out to 'Clear the Land". Then we built a log cabin with precut pretzels, supposedly from the trees they knocked down, and then I gave them some farm items (from the grandkids toybox) and they turned that place into a "FARM" They loved it. If there was enough time, I was supposed to tell the story of how Joseph almost lost his leg at age 7, but I didn't want to scare them, so Heather suggested we play "Pin the leg on Joseph Smith", emphasizing that he DID NOT LOSE his leg, it just was a little handicapped. Dale could NOT BELIEVE we would think of such a thing and practically forbid me to do that. Oh well, we were just joking. But it would have kept their attention, don't you think?

OK, now on a more serious note, I wanted to show you something and tell you another neat story. The whole last year, (I found the lump in Feb of last year....wow) I have been wearing a necklace with the word, "Trust" printed on it 3 times. We had purchased them for Young Women birthday gifts the year before. We told them that they could remember the 3 times meant, "Trust the Father, Trust His Son, and Trust the Holy Ghost" Well, once I started my journey of trials, it was a perfect reminder to me, so I wore it pretty faithfully. Recently, I went to my jewelery box and went to get it out and put it on. I saw the silver circle and grabbed it, but much to my surprise it didn't say "trust", it said "Remember". I felt chills down my spine, Nothing could have been more appropriate. I have gone through so much, yes, but I have learned so much more, and the ONLY way that this experience will benefit ANY of us, is if we "REMEMBER"..................remember what we've learned, I especially need to remember all of the feelings I have had, and the awesome spiritual experiences, and the love I have been shown. I knew this is what I am supposed to wear around my neck now, when I go to put on any jewelery.

I believe it was a message from Heaven. I "remember" now where that circle came from; a YW activity with the stake, but I had put in in my jewelery box and hadn't noticed it for over a year.

Now , the last item of business for today. I want to go to lunch and celebrate my "Mary Poppins" lab report. I will have a PET scan (an 11,000 dollar test) to look for any cancerous tumors in the body, but that is not until April 15th, and I feel that it will show that I am clear for this year, so................where do you want to go? I love the Fairway Grille because it's a slower pace restaurant, and we can go in the back of it, and I feel relaxed enough to be able to sit a while and talk. If there are no objections to that, then we need to pick a day. Heather will be here next Tuesday to help pay tribute to her basketball coach from High School, we're hoping to get Krystal here too. That would be Feb 10th, if not then, possibly the end of the month when I could get K & H here together. Tell me what you think. LOVE YOU ALL, Karen

How do you know if you have humility?

As you know, I had my shoulder surgery on the 15th, about 10 days ago and I am doing fine. I understand that I came out of anesthesia waving Hi to everyone and laughing..................,yeay for Dr. Arnie Graff!!!
Tara will help me add pictures in a couple days, but for tonight I have something on my mind. The last year I feel has truly humbled me. Recently, I felt annoyed at a large bulky sling on my right arm and hand and suddenly realized I am not humble at all. I am a spoiled brat.
I was irritable at my precious family.
So. how do I know when I have truly become HUMBLE? I thought I was doing so good, so if you THINK you are doing good, does that mean you are really not humble at all.? I have SO MUCH to be grateful for. Especially now, this arm thing is temporary and not life threatening, My last lab report looked very good, and I am feeling less frightened all the time about the future. My family has been awesome and helpful and I feel VERY loved. So just for this blog entry, I am asking for some advice....spiritual advice..... how can I become humble and stay that way and know it at the same time? Is it possible?
By the way, I did have about 48 hrs of memory loss and extreme pain right after surgery, that may have started my irritability,but this is the very thing I want to overcome, as Joseph B. Wirthlin said recently, "Come what may, and Love it" ................Help me, I love you all 4-ever, Karen

The Blog Book

Hi everyone, this is Heather. My mom asked me to answer some of your questions about the book I made her for Christmas. If you'd like to turn your blog into a book, you can check out BLURB.COM, which is the website I used. It has some software that you download to your computer (free of course) and then it will take your blog and "slurp" it into a book. It gives you the option to customize it (add pictures, change spelling, text, etc) and it also lets you choose what background colors and themes you want, how you want the pictures to lay out, etc. It wasn't hard at all, but it was a bit time consuming, mainly because it does NOT automatically take the comments from your blog (which are sometimes the best part!) I had to copy and paste them all in. (Which by the way, YOU GUYS ARE AWESOME!! All those comments were just amazing and so uplifting. Thanks for being such wonderful friends to my mom. And don't worry, all spelling bloopers were corrected!!)

There are other websites that offer a similar thing, but this one worked the best for me, and I'd heard from other people that the books turn out great, and that proved to be true.

A few hints: If you use blogger and want BLURB to find your blog, it asks you to sign in. It asks for your username, but if you do not add "@gmail.com" at the end, it will tell you it can't do it. So make sure you put username@gmail.com.

Also, it gives you a warning about your pictures being "low resolution". I had several pictures come up saying that, but I could see in the preview that they looked okay. I went ahead and published the book anyway, and they looked fine. If you have sharper, higher resolution pictures on your computer, definitely use them, but if the blog pictures are all you've got, use them. If they are blurry in the preview, they will be blurry in the final published book as well, so just keep that in mind as you choose pictures.

If you have any other questions or need any help, feel free to e-mail me at heatheresplin AT yahoo DOT com.

Finally, my mom is having surgery on her (torn) rotator cuff on Thursday of this week. We will do a post after that to let you know how it went.

It's a New Year

Guess what I got for Christmas? ...................My blog.....................Made into a BOOK!!

Heather spent a lot of time and a little bit of money (about $50) taking everything I had put into my blog over the last 9-10 months, including pictures and comments from all of you and had it made into a book. I LOVE IT. It will remain a treasure to me. I never want to forget all the things I have learned while I was "cleaning out my closet". And most of all, I never want to forget the encouragement that so many of you gave me............. which was a priceless gift.

Then to round out the holidaze, just like many of you here in St. George, we got snow in December!! It's rare, and our kids had school cancelled one day because of it. This is on our trampoline in the front yard. It has become a favorite for ALL ages, ANY time of the year. The frame is falling apart, so I asked for a new one for Christmas (the old one being 20 yrs old), but these kids are on the old one, and you can see we'll need to put up the new one pretty soon.

These next few pictures are of 3 of my granddaughters. The three youngest before Annaliese was born in November. KYLA, 18 mos (Krystal's youngest), KENYA, 5 mos, (Tara's youngest), and KALIA,16 mos (Heather's oldest)
One of my favorite roommates from Dixie College over 30 years ago, Ann Mitchell is a HUGE Jazz fan, and she bought these cute baby Jazz outfits , and we gave them to the girls for Christmas.

OK, now it's time to talk about the NEW YEAR. I think we are all wondering what we are in for with our country, and with our economy. When someone has health problems such as I have had in the past year, that really isn't my first concern. Health is the wealth I want. I am continuing to get positive test results from Doctors, but those will continue to bring me concern and fear for several years to come. I am truly trying to live up to the commitments I have made to the Lord Jesus Christ and our Heavenly Father. I want to truly have made a LIFE CHANGE, not just an insincere gesture. On the days when I feel normal strength returning, I immediately can see how easy it is to forget the humility I have felt since last March. I am determined to NOT let those feelings last for long. I am giving up some of the things I used to spend my time doing, and replace them with more fulfilling things that will be of value to me eternally. My husband being number one, my family, my scripture study, my temple attendance, my patience and tolerance, my understanding and forgiveness of others are all among the ones that are going to get more of my energy and attention.

I will have surgery in the next two weeks to repair my torn rotater cuff in my right shoulder, and I will have my arm and hand in a sling for 6 weeks. I think the Lord wants me to SLOW down and keep learning at His feet.

Dale has requested that I use whatever energy I have to heal my body so that I will have more energy later to give to this family. Sometimes I get a little out of focus and use my energy on things of less importance. 6 weeks should give me some more time to SLOW down, don't you think? Driving isn't going to be happening for several weeks, neither will much housework get done with my left hand. I am going to join the ward choir, sign up for an institute class, and I am now an official Primary teacher to 4 six year olds. I will focus on that. I was set apart yesterday by a member of the bishopric and given a blessing. I was told that I had much more work on this earth that I need to do, and he blessed me with increasing good health. I was elated!! Today, I saw the Radiation Oncologist, Dr. Ray Richards, and when I told him that, he said "Yeah, but you do things so fast, you'll probably get them all done really quick" I laughed, but I thought, wow, I really do want to SLOW down.

When I went to sign up for the Institute class, the sweet Sister asked me how old I was, I thought that was kind of odd, but when I told her I was 50, she said "We can't accomodate people your age here in our institute anymore". I thought she was kidding, but she wasn't. We older people have to take religion classes elsewhere now. I found one at night over at the Snow Canyon Seminary that is about the Gospels in the New Testament. Perfect for my quest of learning about the Savior.

As for this last picture, I had to save it for last because it makes me cry. 25 years ago, I wanted a night out with some young moms like me once a month, so I created "Club" I invited 5 others to join me to play "Rook", which I think we have done twice in 25 years, but we have invited more to be part of the club so we could "Spread our wings", and really do some fun and interesting things. Now, 25 yrs later, we have a VERY bonded group. We even have a group checking account that we use for wedding gifts, etc.

From left to right is" Front Row:

Me, with no hat, Kim Esplin, Brenda Graff, and Iona Syphus.

back row L to R: Elizabeth Adams, Kristine Gardener, Darla Lyman, Sheri Feller, Lori Hafen, and Shauna Stout (Oliver now)

We have shared everything from having babies, to learning how to raise righteous children, sending some on missions, losing our parents, and even losing one spouse (Shauna's husband Orvil). Five years ago, we faced our first fear of cancer. Kristine was diagnosed with Leukemia. Miraculously they found a drug (pill) that she could take and she has been in remission for 5 years or so. This last year of course we face a new cancer with my breast cancer and chemo. The day this picture was taken (the 12th of Dec) we had gotten together to strengthen Kristine because she has new diagnosis. Stage 3 lung cancer. We fasted together and prayed together. She started chemo right after this and will probably do radiation at the same time because it has metastsized between the lungs and lymph nodes. I have CRIED A LOT. The statistics of survival are about 16 %. We love each other very much, and these experiences are just bringing us closer together. Please pray for Kristine. She has 7 children, the youngest being 12 yrs old.

I have shared many thoughts and feelings with her about my experience, but all of a sudden mine pales in comparison.
Once again, I thank you for taking the time to read this blog, and send me encouragement through your comments/

I do want to give thanks to all of you for helping me when I needed it so badly. Here is my first chance to "Pay it Forward"

Love you all, Karen

Great Christmas News

It's Christmas Day, almost over now, but there is so many good things to say, it's time to show you how I have been.This is 6 of my 8 grandchildren today in their new jammies from the Pagama Elf that comes while we are singing on Christmas Eve. We are missing Heather's 2 babies because they are in Phoenix for Christmas. This picture made me smile.

I realize that I have pretty much quit blogging, and it is time to take it up again. I have found it to be very therapeutic for me to write. Part of not writing was intentional. I thought the last time I did (Oct), I felt like it was pretty much at the end of the ordeal. I knew it wasn't a permanent end, but I figured it would be a while before I would know anything about my condition. I have been concentrating on trying to regain my strength. I thought FOR SURE I would be back to my regular self by Christmas, but my Thanksgiving efforts proved to me that it is going to be a while before I am normal again. I may never be "normal" again, because I am aging day by day, but I am so used to having a lot of energy and I didn't expect this emotional or physical setback.
I find myself more tired than I was during Chemo, and a lot more depressed. The depression is not constant thank goodness, but pops up at least once a day. I will see the Dr again in January and talk to him about that.
In November, I saw the cancer Dr. and he wanted to know if I hurt anywhere for longer than 3 days. I told him that I felt a new lump in my other breast and my shoulder had been throbbing every night for 2 months, and all my joints hurt if I sit still longer than 10 minutes. He immediately ordered a breast MRI, a shoulder MRI and a bone scan. I assumed he was looking for cancer spread in all those places. I was wrong. THE GOOD NEWS is that all tests came out showing NO signs of cancer anywhere in those places. They did find a torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder and I will need surgery in January, but it's not cancer, so I don't even feel bothered about it. The bone scan turned out to be a bone density test, not a scan. They were only looking for weak or strong bones to see what chemo had done to me. He wasn't even worried about cancer in my bones. That test did show some weakening of the bones, but medication will help. The MRI showed NO sign of cancer in either breasts. Yeay!!
You can see how happy Kenya (5 mos) is for me!

For all of December, Dale has been very strict with me, not allowing me to do much of anything. My married daughters took over and did almost ALL my Christmas shopping, (with my debit card) My son in laws helped plan meals and did a ton of the shopping for groceries, and even did a lot of the food preparation.
It was a little depressing to NOT do what I traditionally do. I like playing the role of the mother of all my brothers, sister, and all their families, and my own, but it's up to about 48 now, and I just am not pysically, or emotionally strong enough to do it this time.
So , I just sat back, and enjoyed all these sweet kids. Tara doesn't think Kenya looks very dark until she sees pics like this next to Krystal's white girls.

The girls took their kids to the mall, and when Santa saw them coming, he must have taken off, but they got a picture of them anyway in Santa's chair. :)

well, that brings me to the last picture. The pajama elf brought me some pink breast cancer jammies, I guess I will never be able to forget what I have been through this year. I don't think Heavenly Father wants me to forget either. My hair is slowing growing back, but NOTHING like I have ever looked before in my life. But every time I get discouraged about something like my hair, I say "it's better than having cancer" I have to get over my pride, and I am working on that

I am thankful for a new year so I can implement my goals that I have been learning about this year, and trying to implement in my life. I hope I feel stronger in January. We will do more blood tests in Jan to check cancer levels in the blood. I really hope to stay on top of all this and eat better, exercise more and STRESS LESS.....maybe that's been the best lesson, I worry entirely too much about everything.

we talked to our missionary today, and it was his 20 month anniversary. That will be a great goal to be strong and spritual when he returns on April 28th. I know his service has blessed my life as well as many others.

I sent out some pics of the family and a little newsletter, along with an updated list of the things I HAVE LEARNED. I will send you one if you want, send me your address, either here or on my email: espydk@gmail.com LOVE YOU ALL, Karen

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED

LIFE IS PRECIOUS

I have learned many things in the last 7 months and the first one is: Life is precious, everyone's life. I have come to love many songs that seem to say just what I am feeling, but I had Tara record this one. It is called "YOU GIVE" I was just going to put the words to the song, but then I realized if you could hear it, it might be even better. You might be able to relate to it, even if you haven't been through exactly what I have, you have been through "LIFE", and probably a few bumps, big and small, and we can all relate to that. This is going to be the beginning of "THE LIST OF WHAT I HAVE LEARNED". As I have gone through this experience, I have known all along that I was supposed to be learning something from it. One thing about breast cancer is, it doesn't take your life away overnight, like some tragedies do, thus there must be lessons to be learned for both the patient and all of their loved ones, family and friends. Before I list what I have learned, I want you to read these words, then click on the "play" button and listen to Hilary Weeks sing this and see if you agree with it.

YOU GIVE

You give me sight when I can't see

You give me breath when I can't breathe

And You give me love and You give me peace

Amd You always seem to give just what I need

You take my doubt and replace it with truth

You take my fear so all I see is You

You take me as I am and You take me by the hand

You see to my soul and You take just what I need.

You give me strength and You give me life

You give me hope and You give me light

You take my pain and You take my shame

You bless me to see the give and take is just what I need

You give and take away and refine me day by day

As you lead me through the bitter and sweet

I am trusting you to make me complete

Though You see the heartache, you're sending your sweet grace

As You give.....................and You take

Please send Your perfect grace.......... as You give................. and You take.

So here's the list of the things I have learned in the year 2008, things that I probably would not have learned any other way.

1. Life is Precious

2. I need to RELY on the Holy Ghost continually.

3. Doubt not, fear not: faith and fear cannot exist at the same time.

4. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are in charge

5. I need to improve my relationship with my Redeeemer, who understands exactly how I am feeling.

6. Grudges, bad feelings, and hurt feelings are USELESS to hold onto: Let them go

7. Anyone who seems unkind or unfriendly is experiencing a private pain or suffering of their own that we cannot see.

8. The Savior has shown me firsthand what mercy is: getting something benefecial that we haven't earned.

9. No way can I ever EARN my way into His kingdom, I will NOT be perfectly worthy in this life, but if I can become His partner, as he has invited me to be, I will qualify.

10. He wants me to take these feelings of love that I have for everyone and show mercy to all of God's children......because I NEVER know their whole story..... only HE does.

11. I am overcome with LOVE , such as I have never known. I am truly a blessed person, and I am VERY , VERY grateful to such loving angels around me , and angels unseen, and a Heavenly Father and a Savior that love me without end.

12. I know now that I will never waver again, I know that the Father and the Son live, and their mission is to mercifully bring us home better people than we were we left his presence.

13. One last thing comes to my mind tonight, I will NEVER be able to repay all of you for your kindnes and concern and love for me, so I want you to know this: I will "Pay it forward" at every opportunity I have.

14. I love everyone of you that has read my blog, and sent me such uplifting comments, I love everyone of you that has come to visit me, I love everyone of you that has sent me a card or called me on the phone. I want you to know that I want to be there for you if this situation ever arises in your life. I pray that it won't , but it might. My love is 4-ever, Love, Karen

(PS I will finish radiation on Wed. Oct 22nd, but it will be a month or so before I know anything about my condition. Thank you once again for your prayers, they have made a huge difference in me being able to handle all of this. Let us all remember to THANK HIM for answering our prayers.)

Radiation:no problem, but still not much HAIR!!

Krystal bought a whole bunch of inexpensive t-shirts that say SAN DIEGO on them at Old Navy. Since Eric is on a mission there, we love to think about that place. We hope his mission president will let us come pick him up, but if not, he can take us back on a trip to meet everyone.
Krystal's husband has a great camera, so my 4 silly daughters wanted to take a picture of us jumping up in the air, this is right before we "Took Off".......

I am feeling much better, the weather is so beautiful and cool, I love to be outside and you can see our back yard (all 10 acres of it that the city owns) makes a beautiful background.

Dale really wanted to have a place on the front part of the house that I could sit on and relax, so we took our old pink couch that is in great shape, but just very outdated in color and put a couch cover on it. I think I told you that he has been going crazy over planting flowers ALL over the yard, front and back, isn't this one pretty right next to me?He told me the other day that this PLANTING spree he's been on is his therapy for handling what's happening to me. He said he wants me to have a positive environment. It is looking very pretty and refreshing, I love it.

I wondered if anyone wanted to see what my hair growth looks like. I have not done chemo since Aug 15th, and I am feeling a touch impatient with it's SLOW growth back, even worse is that is appears to be GRAY!!

Now look at these pretty flowers. Dale and I had a 2 night get away and when we got ready to go, Dale had cut all these different roses , one from each bush he has planted. We thought is was so pretty, but I feared it would tip over in the car so we did not take it with us to the hotel.

Ok, here we are , we have made our jump up just so you could see how much energy I have back. It's not all back, and I am a little lower than the strong YOUNGER girls, even Heather got higher than me, and she is 8 months pregnant. The grandkids were all jealous that we were having so much fun, so we took a rather calm picture with all of them.

Krystal and Heather are holding their own babies , but I am holding Tara's new daughter, Kenya, and Kimberlee is holding Krystal's daughter Allie. Tara's twins were fighting over the CAR that we have, so Maddux decided he would ride around on the top, until he fell off. I don't think you can tell here, but Damon is going to be asking for his 2 front teeth for Christmas. In his hand, he had a little special box holding the tooth, since one of his previous losses really did get lost and even though he wrote a note to the tooth fairy, he didn't get very much money, so he wasn't taking a chance on losing this one.
I was told that I would have 30 radiations, and if you can believe it, I have already done 22. Only 8 more to go. I am NOT fatigued at all, and only a slight pink sunburn is starting that doesnn't hurt at all. I asked the DR how we could tell if this was working, and he said they can't. I was a little surprised, and asked why we do it. I guess there have been clinical trials where they did a lumpectomy and radiation (this is when the lymph nodes are not involved) and they found they don't have recurrence of lumps in that breast. Then they had women who just had the lumpectomy and NO radiation, and most of them had new lumps 6-12 months later, so I guess we are just ASSUMING that it is killing any microscopic cancer cells that the surgeon couldn't catch. The chemotherapy was for the bloodstream, which is if any cell broke off from the original tumor (there's only hundreds of thousands of cells on one tumor), it would travel through the bloodstream looking for somewhere else to set up camp. The chemo should have killed ANY cells that were multiplying and dividing quickly, and my tumor was very aggressiive Now, what do I do after all therapy is done? it's kind of scary. We had a lesson in Relief Society today about trials, and how we HAVE TO BE TRIED AND PROVEN, and the most important thing to Heavenly Father is for us to trust HIS WILL. As scared as I was of dying, I felt more peace today, and had a stronger desire to do whatever HE wants me to do. In Sacrament meeting, we sang, "I'll go where you want me to go", and I thought it Really is the Best to turn your will over to the Lord, and say, "What do you want me to do next?"

I am really trying to not be a brat about all this.
I am still reading JESUS THE CHRIST, and I can't believe it, I am enjoying it, even when I don't understand what he's really saying, but it's very interesting. I am feeling tonight that I can TRUST the Lord more, where at the beginning, I knew that was my weakness, so I am making progress.

Does anyone want to go out to lunch somewhere and celebrate when I finally get an answer from my regular cancer doctor that I have a few more years to live? I think before Christmas, he will order a PET scan that looks for any cancer spots or tumors that are anywhere else in the body. If the chemo did it's job,(along with all the prayers), there shouldn't be any more cancer. Now I will have to do self exams monthly and regular checkups and blood tests to stay on top of this. I know your prayers are still helping, THANX AGAIN I LOVE YOU ALL, Karen