Believe it or not, I made it out to Lake Powell, chemotherapy, Anxiety and all!!
My family convinced me that it would be relaxing to come out on the houseboat that we have a 1 week share on. I cannot tell you how scared I was to think that I might get out there and freak out over something, anything, what if it was too hot, or what if it was too bumpy and I would feel nauseated, or what if there wasn't any food out there that I could eat, or what if I just needed to come home?? The fears seem ridiculous now, but they weren't the day before I went. I had a downright good old panic attack.
BUT, with a LOT of prayer,Not just mine, but all of you guys praying for me too, I decided it would be good for me to be with my family, brothers, sister, and their kids, and just lay around in the cool water. And you know what?? No one would let me cook or clean or do any work at all, and I think I had one of my most relaxing trips to Lake Powell ever. The food even tasted good to me. The days were around 85 -90 degrees and the nights were wonderful, and I truly did enjoy it. I am calling it a MIRACLE! (By the way , my sister's the one with the hair :)
Just to be sure I didn't get too much sun, Dale brought me home on the 3rd day, but it turned out to be just right. I have been feeling better ever since.
It has been over 2 weeks since I have had a chemo treatment, and so next Monday will be LUCKY #7 (Remember the Dr. said I would have 8 treatments, so I am getting excited to be getting near the end).
the last treatment I had, we found that if I went into the office everyday for fluid and IV meds, I did MUCH better. They say this stuff accumulates in your system, so each one SHOULD get worse. (OK, So I am normal) So, here it is Wednesday, July 23rd, and I almost feel like a normal person. It sounds silly, but I can't tell you how much HOPE that gives me, that someday I will feel like myself again.
Since I felt so good yesterday, I went to my favorite place to feel peace. The temple. I didn't know how much time I could physically endure, but it ended up so peaceful, I stayed for several hours. When I got home last night, I felt peace, the peace I beg for, and plead for. If you have ever experienced severe anxiety, you know what I am talking about, if you haven't, drop to your knees right now and give thanks!!! It is indescribable.
I could not have come this far without your love and support, I don't know how ANYONE could go through this alone. My testimony is being strengthened daily as I learn new things that Heavenly Father is bringing to my ATTENTION, possibly things I wouldn't have learned any other way. Thank you for your love, talk to you next week, PS I still like visitors :)
