Fill Me With Hope
it's early Sunday morning, and it was an unusual one in that I didn't need to wake up early.
But I did anyway.
This thought was on my mind, and it wouldn't go away.
"FILL ME WITH HOPE"
this picture seemed to have that look on my face, "are we ever going to get a good family picture........aaaahhhhhhhh.." but as you can see, we did, not perfect (the little boys faces were less than perfect), but who wants a family picture that's not realistic?.....(ok, yes, we mothers do want a perfect family pic)
So, this thought of HOPE, where did that come from this morning? Believe it or not, I am not feeling hopeless today, but it is still heavy on my mind.
There are things in my life (and yours, I would dare guess), that cause me to plead with the Lord for help. (I think He wants it that way BTW, it keeps us humble).
You may have heard the latest scary news in our family, about cancer once again. This time it is Wayne, Tara's husband.
He was having pain in his abdomen last summer and wondered if it was an appendicitis or something like that. He had a CT scan and it showed that he had a double inguinal hernia.
BUT , it also showed a spot on his kidney.
The Dr told him to have that spot checked out later, but that he thought it was probably a cyst or maybe some scar tissue.
He knew he needed surgery for the hernias but that was not an emergency, it was mostly for his comfort. He put that off until later.
Well, later came after Christmas and he decided to have the surgery so that he could get healing because come Spring, he was planning on playing football for a semi-pro team called "Dixie Rebels". He had become very involved with this team, getting the name changed from "The Blitz", to the Rebels, and he was helping get all new uniforms, changing colors to Red and Gray, and out getting sponsors for the team. He LOVES football, almost as much as he loves his wife and kids. :)
He had the surgery 3 wks ago, and after 2 days, he felt really sick, and had a fever.
He ended up in the ER and they took another CT scan to see if anything was wrong. They concluded that he had an infection and put him on an antibiotic. He felt better over the next 2 days. The INTERESTING thing was that the CT scan showed that darn spot on the kidney again. The Dr called him this week to tell him, that when he compares it with the spot 4-5 months ago, it has grown about 1 cm.
The Dr had consulted with 2 other doctors and the 3 of them concluded that nothing grows in the kidney like that unless it is cancer.
They set him up with some more doctors and plan to remove the kidney in the next 2 weeks.
Of course, everyone is in shock, Wayne is 28 yrs old.
The good news is that IF the cancer has not spread, he can have the kidney removed and all is well. NO CHEMO, NO RADIATION!
Wait a minute, is living with ONE kidney considered , "all is well"?
We know that many people give up their kidneys for others and we know that most people live just fine with one kidney. So, isn't this great news? I think it is.
However, the Dr. told Wayne, he would never be able to play football again.
That is heartbreaking for him.
If it saves his life, it's totally worth it, right?
He knows that, and when the emotional pain subsides, and his physical pain (from the surgery) is gone, then he will be thankful to only notice the loss of PLAYING football in his life.
He can still coach, and be on the sidelines for LOTS of different reasons.
He is sad, he is scared. What if it has spread?
That's another story.
I am a mother, and I have had sadnesses with my children and their experiences. I recently have had another one, besides this health scare with Wayne.
Would I rather lose a child to physical death, or spiritual death?
Of course , neither.
Will one or both happen?
Did I know of these possibilities when I agreed to come to earth?
Do I like it?
Will it all be OK?
I have hope!! I am so blessed that it comes so easily for me. I realize that it doesn't come that easy to everyone. I KNOW I am given a gift of FAITH, and that leads to so much hope!!
I have many scriptures that encourage me. Maybe I did a little bit of helping myself along this road of Hope, because I spent months searching scriptures on the topic of "Hope". I FOUND MANY!!
There are 209 references to "Hope" in our scriptures.
"For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope." (is that cool , or what?)
(does patience have anything to do with this subject?)
Here are a few of my favorites
"...that they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God,but keep his commandments.
(if we keep remembering what God has done for us, we will strengthen our ability to HOPE!)
"For we are saved by Hope, but Hope that is seen is not hope; for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it" (I love this)
One of my very favorites is this one:
"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an ANCHOR TO THE SOULS OF MEN, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."
(an anchor is what we all need!!!)
I love the scriptures!! They help me, they speak to me.
I hear these words in my heart, when I ask for things from Heavenly Father,...............
"I know thou wilt hear my prayer and give me the desires of my heart,.......
BUT IF NOT........................., I know it will be for the best"
As I lay in bed, and after I have poured out my heart to the Lord, I know HE is in control, I KNOW HE will take care of everything, and I feel to ask Him ONE MORE THING...................
"Father, FILL ME WITH HOPE"
I know there is so much more to every story than I can understand or comprehend, but I also know that I have to do my part and miracles will take place, and I will see them happen.
In the Bible Dictionary under "Prayer", we find these words.
"the object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them"
The Holy Ghost tells me this is true.
I have hope.
Sometimes I need more, so I plead
"Fill me (just let it pour out all over me) with Hope"